Nobody likes to be criticized.

Don't take it personally! How to accept -- and benefit from -- criticism

Nobody likes to be criticized.

When the complaint is coming from a client or customer, however, criticisms can actually be your best friend.

Whether they're about you, your company or your product, constructive criticism can be a powerful opportunity for you to improve your sales technique, close more deals -- and increase your revenues.

The key is to not respond defensively or angrily. Most sales people -- like most people period -- get their dander up the moment anyone says anything even remotely negative. They get defensive, angry or, in the worst-case scenario, they look for ways to retaliate either overtly or coercively.

The following four-step process can help you learn how to take criticism well, and even begin to use it to enhance your client relationships.

Step 1: Thank the client for their feedback.

Try saying something like "thanks for bringing this to my attention, I appreciate the opportunity you've given me to improve (the level of service, my responsiveness, etc)."

Step 2: Ask questions.

People love to teach others what to do. So involve your customer in the solution by asking them what suggestions they have that might help you improve.

Asking questions will allow you and your client to have a constructive dialogue around the issue at hand. Who knows, the client may even make a suggestion you never thought of.

Step 3: Listen.

Your client is entitled to their opinion. So whatever they have to say -- hear them out.

Listen to what is being said, process it, reflect on it and then use it to improve. Try taking notes to show that what they're saying is important to you. If your client feels you're taking their opinion seriously, they'll be less likely to get angry and more willing to work with you to reach a resolution.

If you listen with the intent to improve, you'll have an even better chance of understanding their point of view. Use the listening techniques you've developed as a sales professional to ask probing questions or ask for examples. And remember: let the client do at least 70 per cent of the talking.

At the end of the conversation, summarize what they've said to show them that you understand. Then ask for one more opinion: what they think you should do to improve.

Step 4: Commit to improve.

Finally, always let the customer know that you appreciate their opinions and suggestions -- and that you will be taking concrete steps to improve. You can even go so far as to ask whether they'd like you to check in with them again in a couple of weeks.

In the meantime, don't turn your back on what they've said or try to forget about it. Spend some time looking for any validity in the criticism, and perhaps share the feedback with someone you can trust to tell you the truth. This will also give you a chance to look at the criticism from a neutral perspective.

One last thought: I've seen far too many people pull their ads, cancel programs, postpone events or ruin otherwise profitable relationships just because somebody got offended. So whatever you do -- don't ever take criticism personally.

I know this can be hard to do, especially when it's coming from someone you like (or someone who signs your paychecks). The fact of the matter is, if you're not offending at least one person, you're probably not pushing hard enough.

The reality is you may make two to three per cent of your clients uncomfortable. That's okay, because you weren't going to sell to them anyway. The thing to remember is that the other 97 per cent of your clients really want to see your personality, your style and your communication reflected in your work. If you try to make everyone happy, the only thing you can be certain of is becoming a bland commodity that no one will be particularly excited about.

Only you can give other people permission to make you feel bad. Interpreting criticism as a subjective opinion with a solution instead of a personal rebuke will help you grow, build better relationships and, ultimately, become more successful.

So take the opinions and criticism of others seriously, not personally. Use what they say to create an action plan to upgrade your performance, both personally and professionally.

And don't worry about being perfect. As the Bard once said -- to thine own self be true. Be your best not for your boss, your customers or even your family. Be your best for you.

Why should we not eat green and raw vegetables on some special days?

The rules and principles relating to food in the Jain dharma are based on considerations relating to health and non- violence (giving protection to creatures). There is a profound scientific reason underlying the principle of prohibiting the consuming of green vegetables on festivals and festive occasions You may see what it is ?

There is a strong gravitational force acting between the earth and the moon. The gravitational force of the moon is greater on the water on the earth. The ebb and tide in the seas also change in accordance with the waning and waxing of the moon. If we think of the revolution of the moon around the earth, we find that the moon comes a little nearer the earth, on such days of the Shukla Paksh the bright fortnight and the Krishna Paksh the bleak fortnight as Panchmi (the fifth day ), Ashtami the Eighth day, the eleventh day, the fourteenth day, the new-moon day and the full-moon day.

WhY? We should not take food in the night.

Consuming food, water etc. in the night is very strictly prohibited in the Jain Dharma There are two reasons for this prohibition. First, if we eat food during the night, there is the possibility of our committing violence because many minute creatures and germs may get killed if we take food during night times. Secondly if we take food late in the night we may not be able to digest it because we will not do any work in the night that helps digestion. Hence, it is not good to take food in the night according to the principles of health. The habit of consuming food etc. during the night may result in indigestion foul smell in the breath, putrefaction of teeth, constipation and several diseases of the throat. The digestive system becomes inactive during the night owing to the absence of sunlight. Hence the food taken during night, does not get digested; and its putrefaction in the body is harmful to health. The germs and microbes that disappear when there is sunlight do not really get destroyed; they take shelter in the shadowy places and after sunset, they enter pervade the atmosphere. These microbes that are invisible to the naked eye, get into our food and cause many dreadful diseases.

Of all the religions in the world, the Jain Dharm is unique in examining with great care and thoughtful-ness even such comparatively small matters as food and drink. The Jain dharma concentrates more on the development of the mind than on the development of the body. After all certain effects of food, both good and bad. fall not only on the body, but on the mind

Jain Dharma prohibits the eating of the following things

The Jain Dharma has adopted for Itself the method of releasing the soul from all the bondages of Karma as the ultimate and supreme aim of life. Only human beings are capable of cutting off the hard and deceptive bondage of Karma. Other beings cannot achieve this aim completely. In the endeavor to achieve deliverance, the cooperation of the body is very important. Therefore, it is necessary to take care of the body. But we should not forget one vital point in this connection. Just as we should not cause the body to wither away with hunger, thirst and hardships, so also we should not make it bulky and florid by enjoying ( eating and drinking ) various things. If the senses and the mind should remain healthy and wholesome we should exercise control over our instincts and passions; and in this manner, we should exercise discipline in respect of food. Moreover, with a peaceful and elevated mind we should contemplate on the soul, achieve firmness and cheerfulness and should achieve self- realization.

Here is a list of things that should not be taken (eaten).

Meat-eating - One should not eat any kind of meat.
Alcoholic drinks - People should not take any alcoholic drinks including beer.
Eggs - Eggs and the so called vegetarian eggs also should not be eaten.
Roots - Potatoes, onions, garlic, carrot, radish, ginger, sweet potato, white yam. the elephant's foot ( a root ) and other such roots should not be eaten.

Some other foods - Brinjal, cheese, cream. honey, butter etc., should not be consumed.
Eating ( Dwidal ) pulses - Preparing food by mixing raw dwidal with raw milk and curds (The grains like wheat, Bengal gram, Green gram, black gram, lentil etc. ). This is Viruddha food or prohibited food for body and soul.

Stale food - Eating of stale food ( which has remained in the night) in the next morning is prohibited.

If we think of all these items from the religious point of view, they are not fit to be eaten because eating such food involves the killing of various kinds of microscopic creatures and germs; and so people should abstain from eating them. If we think of them from the point of view of health and physical wellbeing we find that they provoke the darker aspects of human nature. They provoke the senses, the instincts and the passions. They provide fuel to the fire of latent and dormant instincts and passions. The virtues like tenderness, softness, kindness, equanimity and peace wither away by the consumption of such foods. The choice of food should depend more on considerations relating to the natural freshness. health and wellbeing of the mind than on considerations relating to the wellbeing and nourishment of the body.

It is necessary to filter water:

For the most part, in Jain families, they first filter water by means of a thick and clean cloth and then use it for drinking, bathing and for washing clothes, because there will be countless creatures in water; moreover, flying creatures may fall into open vessels. Filtering water is necessary even if we think of kindness to these creatures. If water is filtered those creatures are saved; moreover, filtered water is not only good but absolutely essential for health. We should place covers or lids on vessels containing water meant for bathing and washing so that flying creatures may not fall into them. Sometimes, some poisonous creatures also may fall into those vessels or their saliva, spittle etc., may fall into them if they are kept open; and so such things cause harm to health.

Why should water be boiled ?

Jains, while performing Biyasan and any higher austerity have to drink only boiled water. First, water should be filtered and boiled and then cooled, Then they can drink it; that too, only before the sunset; not after that. They should not drink water in the nights. Of course, when water is heated once, all the countless beings in it, die. But according to the Jain doctrines, in boiled water beings will not be born and so will not die for a certain period according to the season. In unboiled water every moment countless creatures are born and they die. So if once the water is boiled further violence is avoided. The sin of killing creatures is committed only once if the water is heated; and this avoids the committing of that sin again and again. Thoughtful people incur a small loss if by that small loss they can get a large profit. Of course, we should not cause violence to creatures; but we cannot live without water; so minimizing sins, we should use water. If the use of hot water is necessary, it has to be used. Meaningless use is improper. Now-a-days, even great physicians and doctors prescribe the drinking of hot water. Boiled water is good for health. In china, today, in large hotels drinkimg-water is first boiled and then cooled.

Tapasya and the codes of conduct:

Food has been considered inevitable for existence. It has been considered essential. The impact of food falls on the body as well as on the mind. " The food we eat determines the nature of our minds". Moreover there is the epigram, "As is the food; so is the mood" Such statements are certainly true. They contain truth. The body helps us in our spiritual endeavors. The enlightened men have prescribed the quantity of food to be taken; the time at which food should be taken and the kinds of food that should be taken to keep the body vigorous and healthy. They have made a beautiful analysis of these points. They have pointed out some austerities to get rid of karmas; moreover, they have also prescribed some prohibitions in respect of eating and drinking. Just as total fasting is a tapasya, even restriction to some kinds of to be taken is also a kind of tapascharya; austerity.

Twelve kinds of austerities have been described. Of these, six are external and six are internal.

Bahya External: means that which can be seen.

Abhyantar Internal:means that which cannot be seen externally.

Why should we not eat certain types of food?

(Prohibited food)

Certain kinds of food like pulses should be given up. They are prohibited by Dharma because they are generative of life and so eating them amounts to violence. Moreover, according to the science of health and physiology, by the mixing of certain things, certain substances that can cause chemical reactions, are produced. They convert foreign substances into poisons which get into the body Since they do not get out of the body in the form of perspiration etc., they get into blood and pollute it. On account of this it may become polluted and ooze out causing skin-diseases. Therefore, We should not eat raw pulses like green gram, black gram, bengal gram, beans etc., mixing them with raw milk or curds. The Jain dharma has prohibited the consumption of such food under the name, Dwidal Tyag(The renunciation of pulses).In addition to this, we should not consume such thlngs as fruit salad, ice-cream, fruit-shrikand(fruit slices mixed with sugar and curds),Dahi fruit(fruit mixed with curds) and all antibiotic medicines since they are made up of different substances the combination of which is harmful to our health.

Is our food killing us?

Have you ever gone out for Chinese food and felt bloated, dizzy, got headaches and experienced tightness in your chest? You made the connection with the food you ate and vowed that you were never going for Chinese food again, unless it was a place that does not use MSG.

But what most people don't know is that MSG (Monosodium Glutamate) is in thousands of processed foods. You will find it in salad dressing; frozen dinners; potatoes chips and in most fast food. What is even more of a concern is that it goes under more than twenty-five different names, making it almost impossible to decipher, unless of course you have a degree in food science.

So what is MSG anyways and why is it in our food chain? MSG was introduced over fifty years ago. It is a flavourless crystalline substance that has no flavour of its own but will enhance the flavour of certain foods that it is mixed with. It is also used as a meat tenderizer and in its pure form, goes under the name "Accent".

Food manufacturers use it because it makes their food taste good, actually so good that it becomes addictive and you can't stop eating it. Pretty smart marketing isn't it, because the more you eat, the more you buy and the more you increase their bottom line.

MSG has been linked to a host of disorders including: obesity; asthma, high blood pressure; blindness; migraines and Type II Diabetes. Although there are reports for and against the safety of MSG, the numbers speak for themselves. As MSG increased in our food supply, so did asthma, Type II Diabetes and obesity.

According to the latest report from the BBC, China has witnessed a 28 fold increase in childhood obesity from 1985-2000. As fast food and more proceeded foods were introduced into their food chain, the obesity rates climbed. In John Erb's book the "The Slow Poisoning of America", he states that thousands of research reports done on rats injected with MSG showed they became obese. Rats by nature are not obese animals. If MSG is an addictive substance like nicotine, it is no wonder we are a population of expanding waistlines.

Instead of being persuaded by ulterior motives by the food giants, get informed about what you are eating so you can make smarter choices. The following is a list of some of the names that MSG is known as:

* Glutamate
* Glutamic Acid
* Gelatin
* Monopotassium
* Hydrolyzed Plant Protein (HVP) or (HPP)
* Autolyzed Yeast
* Sodium Caseinate
* Calcium Caseinate
* Textured Protein
* Yeast Extract

My lesson for the day, try to eat a cleaner diet free of additives and preservatives. Your body will thank you for it.

By Dini Cohen